Happiness
by Daphne Ackerman
Summary: As Natsu and Lisanna celebrated their engagement, it is time for joy and celebrations. Money was exchanged and a few tears were shed in front of such a happy couple. Every guild members were thrilled and Lucy Heartfillia was no exception. Or was she?


The sun seemed to shine brighter as cheers and laughter erupted in the notorious Fairy tail's Guildhall, everyone rejoicing the love of two childhood friends. Money was exchanged, and a few tears were shed in front of such a happy moment. Mirajane, her soft blue eyes watering at the sight of her sister finally happy with the man of her dreams, was squealing about pink-haired babies with sapphire eyes, earning more than a few chuckles from other guildmates. Everyone was thrilled and congratulating the happy couple and Lucy Heartfillia was no exception.

"Congratulations you two!" she exclaimed, beaming at the happy couple.

"Thanks Luce!" responded Natsu, a muscular arm wrapped around his silver-haired fiancé as if he was afraid she was going to disappear once again. "You know, it's about time you get yourself a boyfriend, after all we went through, you deserve to be happy."

The celestial mage only grinned at him and excused herself as she slowly backed away from the happy couple. Erza, following Lucy, was blushing furiously at the sight of the pair.

"Say Lucy" Erza whispered. "Do you think I'll be the godmother once a child is born?"

Lucy turned around, a giggle escaping her plump lips.

"I don't think so Erza, you see as Natsu's best friend, I should be the godmother" she answered, giggling once again as a pout appeared on the Requip mage's lips. "But don't worry, I am certain you will be the godmother of their second child."

"That would be delightful!" the scarlet-haired women exclaimed. "How wonderful it is to see two childhood friends love each other so deeply, I always knew they were destined to each other. Natsu never truly accepted the fact that Lisanna "died" two years ago. I guess he still sensed his soulmate presence even though she was confined in another world."

As she continued her monologue, a glimpse of a dark shadow flickered into Lucy's chocolate orbs, but Erza brushed it off, certain it was only a trick of the light. After all, the former heiress was Natsu's best friend and even contributed to the fire dragon slayer breath-taking confession. There was no way the celestial maiden could not be thrilled for her closest friend, right? As Erza continued her inner debate, Lucy distanced herself from her guildmate, slowly making her way towards the guild's gates.

As soon as the massive doors closed themselves, unknown to all, Lucy's smile faltered as tears slowly made their way into her eyes. And as she walked towards her apartment, stumbling sometimes as her vision got blurry from all the tears, Natsu's words echoed into her troubled mind.

"_You deserve to be happy… be happy…"_

The Heartfillia heiress scoffed, her lips quivering as she sobbed. Be happy… how could she be happy when the one she so deeply loved was another's? How could she find the strength to pull up a smile through her pain every day, knowing so damn well it was expected from her? To be thrilled to lose her love, her Natsu… Words could not even describe how hard it was for her to carry on when she was desperately wanted to fall apart… To Lucy, every thought was a battle, every breath taken was a war, and she felt as if she wasn't winning anymore.

Many could ask why the celestial mage was so broken, it was only a boy. But to Lucy, Natsu was her everything and losing him meant losing her life purpose. Indeed, following her mother's death, Lucky Lucy Heartfillia became a shadow of her former self. When she lost herself in her pain and darkness, it was Natsu whom lighted a fire back into her heart. He was the one who brought her to Fairy tail, he was the reason she found a loving family… Natsu was her anchor to life when she thought of giving up. The dragon slayer saved her countless times and she tried to do the same for him. In fact, she was ready to give up her life if it meant to save him. After all, "it was always more fun when they were together". After all they went through, Lucy Heartfillia, the celestial princess, lost her dragon.

The golden-haired maiden's lips spread into a small, bitter smile, a pained expression appearing on her angelic features.

"_Be happy… happy…"_

Those haunting words were taunting her as the women threw herself in her cold bed, devoid of Natsu's warmth. Truth was, Lucy was tired of sleepless nights, words such as "what if" repeating themselves in her broken mind. She was tired of loving too much to only have her heart shattered in the end. Tired of faking everything just so that people didn't worry about her, not that they did. No one cared. She was worthless, an attention seeking whore. A weak, useless girl, a disappointment. How could she have fooled herself that one day, maybe one day, life would get better for her. She was nothing, a pathetic excuse of a celestial mage.

"_Be happy… happy... you deserve to be happy…"_

But what is happiness, Lucy wondered. It's been so long since the celestial wizard ever felt joy, she forgot how it felt. Her life didn't have a purpose, she lost everything she held so dear. Without Natsu, no one cared about her. The celestial wizard's heart clenched at the thought that her beloved family was only a cruel illusion.

Her eyes, still glistening with salty tears, caught a glimpse of light on her kitchen counter. It was a medium sized knife, its blade sharp, reflecting the sunset's light.

"_Be happy…"_

Lucy pressed the cold metal against her fair skin.

"_Be happy… happy…"_

"One cut" Lucy whispered. "Just one."

She lightly sliced her skin, a small path of warm, scarlet liquid trailing from her wrist to her wooden floor. The pain made her wince a bit, but it felt much better. The stinging pain made the young women forget her broken heart, it made her forget her memories.

Drip, drip

"_Be happy…"_

"Just another one, it isn't going to make a big difference… yeah… I'll just cover it later…"

Another slice, more blood added on the floor. Drip, drip. Tear were flowing freely from Lucy's swollen eyes as she eyed the thick fluid. The pain… it stopped… why… no Natsu… don't leave me… Another cut, this one deeper, causing a fountain of the scarlet blood to gush out of her tainted wrist. Lucy's eyes felt heavy as she clumsily raised her bloody knife to cut her ghostly pale skin once more, the maiden rejoicing in her pain.

pan

Lucy's frail body plummeted into the ground, her scarlet blood coating her once golden locks as a whimper tore out from her sore throat. She was losing too much blood. She was aware of that fact and yet, she laid there waiting for death's welcoming arms.

"_Be happy…"_

In a golden blinding light, her dear friend, Loke appeared before her, a distraught expression plastered on his handsome face. Looking at his beloved master, still beautiful at the verge of death, Loke's chest tightened with guilt and sorrow. How he ached to beat up Natsu for having caused so much pain to Lucy, but the celestial mage forbid him to get involved, and although it broke his heart to listen to Lucy's broken cries, he had no choice but to comply. She was loosing so much blood, her breathing getting shallower as seconds flew by. The celestial spirit pulled his cherished friend to his chest, tainting his suit in the process, to remember her warm presence. As he sensed her slipping away, he asked her in an unsteady, broken tone:

"Why did you kill yourself?"

Lucy looked at him, a small gentle smile curving her chapped lips.

"He told me to be happy."

**AUTHOR NOTE: Thank you so much for your reviews! I'm so happy you like this story! 5 reviews wooow, I'm really grateful. Now, I know this isn't another chapter and I am sorry for those who expected it, but I just wanted to update my story with the advice of dear **_**acochran5**_**. So thank you for the advice!**

**I'll always listen to anyone that gives me tips for me to improve. Anyway, if you liked this story or have any suggestions for another one, don't be shy to drop a review :3**

**Lots of love, **

**Daphne**


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